hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
