he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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