I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I think I died a long time ago.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
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