Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
