I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
