Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
How does one acquire holy water?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
