I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
