and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
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I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
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Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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