I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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