I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Randomize
