I don't think brook has ever known best
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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