wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
