well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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