So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
