btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
