Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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