The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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