why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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