he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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