now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
