her vagine was all disorganized.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
