I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
