I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
