There is no way he is gay with that hair.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
