my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
this just has baby written all over it
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Pooping to opera.
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