you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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