You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
