If i come over, it means nothing
Only a mothe r could love this liver
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Randomize
