The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
