i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
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