Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
wow bdsm is so cute
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
