Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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