Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
