I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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