They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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