I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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