That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
