Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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