Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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