So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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