Texts From Last Night

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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her

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  (603): She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her http://tfl.nu/d3n8
  Replies (32) Good night (4177) Bad night (741)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?

  (410): View more from Maryland

  The recession has changed everything man.

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  (412): Why are there hot girls at the dollar store? (410): The recession has changed everything man. http://tfl.nu/jvje
  Replies (9) Good night (3244) Bad night (585)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?

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  (847): I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops? http://tfl.nu/7gnj
  Replies (12) Good night (3047) Bad night (584)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.

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  (513): Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere. http://tfl.nu/ay2u
  Replies (11) Good night (5246) Bad night (561)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.

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  (815): just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home. http://tfl.nu/6d9n
  Replies (14) Good night (652) Bad night (6774)
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  (650): View more from California

  We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign

  (562): View more from California

  You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo

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  (650): We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign (562): You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo http://tfl.nu/9pp5
  Replies (68) Good night (5741) Bad night (1033)
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  (585): View more from New York

  yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.

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  (585): yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign. http://tfl.nu/yitg
  Replies (10) Good night (3261) Bad night (907)
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  (714): View more from California

  the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.

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  (714): the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead. http://tfl.nu/2k13
  Replies (7) Good night (1954) Bad night (654)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.

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  (541): Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer. http://tfl.nu/uwby
  Replies (7) Good night (978) Bad night (666)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk

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  (614): fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk http://tfl.nu/crvd
  Replies (4) Good night (631) Bad night (479)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.

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  (479): Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage. http://tfl.nu/89e2
  Replies (2) Good night (503) Bad night (367)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.

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  (780): It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller. http://tfl.nu/7k3f
  Replies (6) Good night (909) Bad night (354)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.

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  (734): I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good. http://tfl.nu/zf2u
  Replies (2) Good night (264) Bad night (439)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Just had my very first high conversation with mom

  (541): View more from Oregon

  And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts

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  (503): Just had my very first high conversation with mom (541): And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts http://tfl.nu/2tag
  Replies (0) Good night (512) Bad night (238)
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  (607): View more from New York

  She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam

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  (607): She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam http://tfl.nu/1ft8
  Replies (3) Good night (136) Bad night (721)

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