Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(908): View more from New Jersey

do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?

Fav 219 1141 7228
share tweet
(716): View more from New York

since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?

Fav 85 2079 7294
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(503): View more from Oregon

The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"

Fav 15 5042 1622
share tweet
(226): View more from Ontario

I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.

Fav 4 3777 1418
share tweet
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Read it at the TFLN blog
(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.

Fav 14 2011 2918
share tweet
(504): View more from Louisiana

I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.

Fav 7 1902 785
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(575): View more from New Mexico

Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.

Fav 7 786 1165
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(213): View more from California

She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.

Fav 1 804 610
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(585): View more from New York

I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose

Fav 0 11 35
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT