I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.