TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.