Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
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I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
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Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in