Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
