if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I skipped work to stalk him.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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