Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
