i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
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Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
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I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
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