You're a womanizer and a bitch.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Randomize
