I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
