he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
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