just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
