apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
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