THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
