i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
