Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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