I am in a vortex of obligation.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
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