He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
