There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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