Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(720): View more from Colorado

i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them

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(843): View more from South Carolina

I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.

Fav 21 1153 4935
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(913): View more from Kansas

I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.

(1-913): View more from Kansas

So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.

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(406): View more from Montana

I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina

Fav 19 2772 1249
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.

Fav 12 1495 803
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(404): View more from Georgia

Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?

(1-404): View more from Georgia

At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.

(404): View more from Georgia

Why did I wake up by myself then?

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(304): View more from West Virginia

And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.

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(949): View more from California

this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity

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(386): View more from Florida

I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed

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