Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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