I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
