If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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