so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
