my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
