Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Can't talk, ducks in the car
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
