dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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