He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
