So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
