Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
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