i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Randomize
